it blows

mother's day effing blows if you don't have a mom or if she's dead. that sentence might have been hard for some of you to read but get over it. imagine what it's like for those of us who have to live that reality. seriously it sucks.

back to mother's day: marketing is everywhere. BUY. FLOWERS. LOVE. CARDS. CANDY. HUGS. it's like valentine's day but in pastels.

even worse than the leading up is the actual day itself. [scoff] typical. i mean come on holiday couldn't you at least try to be original??

why is day of the worst ? because EVERYONE and THING is telling you to call your mom. including my email. the sounds and sites of the day are like this: call your mom. call your mom. call your mom. call your mom. call your mom. and i'm like. "ignore."  "huh? oh n/a  ignore."  "sigh. i can't. sniffle"  "back off. i can't!" and finally "she's dead!!" and then it just gets awkward.

i even ditched out on church completely yesterday to avoid it. church LOVES to make a big deal out of mother's day. i went to visalia to visit my brother and his kids instead. i arrived just as they were returning from church. (woot!) i asked my niece Chelsea what they did at church. (side note about this family, their mom basically abandoned them a few years ago.) Chelsea excitedly described how they made flowers for their mom's out of cookies and candy. then she said, "I was going to bring it home but then I ate it."

i laughed and gave her a high five. she's one smart cookie.

the worst part? there is now something glen beck and i agree on. DAMN YOU GLEN BECK. damn you.

but seriously mom. i love you and i miss you.