Sunday, June 28, 2009

thank you bobby brown

An actual exchange I had at a club tonight:

guy: "where are you going?"
me: "over there."
guy: "why?"
me: "it's my prerogative."

Thursday, June 25, 2009


To the people of Iran.
I support you and am proud of you. I am a firm believer in the right to protest. Thank you for your demonstrations and protests. Thank you for providing me an opportuinty to get to know you and your country a little bit better. I hope the violence may end soon and that you will one day feel you have received what you are asking for.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

gaping hole

When I was younger and my siblings would come home from college for the weekend/breaks/holidays I would get so excited. On the flip side when they left I would start bawling. No matter how much I tried to stop it I couldn't. I have a hard time saying goodbyes.

Most of you know that both of my parents have passed away and it feels like there is a big gaping hole in my heart and in my life. Losing both of them is something I anticipated for quite some time and tried my best to prepare for it but I never thought it would be this hard.

I've always been a fan of time, no matter what you do it just keeps on going. That aspect of time always brought me such relief and comfort. No longer do I feel this way. Time has become an enemy. The more time passes the more people I lose and the more time continues to pass the more people I'm going to lose. This bit of reality makes everything in me want to shut down. Oh but good ol' Father Time doesn't stop there not only does he steal people but he steals your memories. I realized this week that I don't remember what my dad's laugh sounds like. How can I not remember such an integral part of him? I feel like I'm betraying him.

How could they both be gone? I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it. I look at pictures of them and I am just baffled. It's so confusing to look at pictures of people who lived on this Earth, who created lives and a family and then they are just gone. You can't call them on the phone, you can't ask them for advice or seek comfort from them, you don't have a home to go to. When you wonder where a certain picture, artifact, book etc is and realize it's probably at your parent's house but you can't go and get it because everything's been cleared out. If I or my siblings aren't in possession of it then it's gone forever because everything else has been thrown away. How can two people's lives disappear so quickly?

I was going to attach a picture but don't know what happened to the one digitized photo I had of them.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


perhapse this movie needs to be re-released with all this talk of legalizing mj.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

it's educational

*WARNING* some of you might not like this entry.

Whenever I can't sleep I pop an ambien. Sleeping is not one of my many talents...I struggle with it A LOT. This past Sunday I knew a restless sleepless night was upon me so I gulp down an ambien, curl up under the covers and drift off into blissful sleep. 

The next morning I awake to a blank Netflix watch instantly screen on my computer. I had no recollection of watching anything. No big deal. Most nights I put something on as I fall asleep in order to zone out and help quite my mind.

Monday night rolls around and I begin my ritual of watching something on Netflix. The opening screen comes on and I see this on the previously viewed:

 "huh?" I think to myself


I now remember searching Netflix for something to watch. When I saw this show I thought, "I want to learn about that."

I mean come on who doesn't want to know the secrets to the art of love? 

I didn't remember much beyond that so I click on it. Again. More memories come flooding back. Especially this one refrain, "It's not porn. It's educational." 

The kicker. It has less than two stars. Apparently after all that I'm not even well educated.

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