anyway. my mom wrote each of us kids (there are four of us) journals because she was poor in health and didn't know if she would be allowed to see us grown. the first entry of mine is actually written 8 days before i was born. i didn't get it until after she died, i've read through some of it but haven't been able to get through all of it. all this to say, as i was browsing through it today i found this poem..
To my four children March 23, 1984 (which is my parent's wedding anniversary)
You were not born to feel sorrow
for a mother not whole of body--
My spirit is whole, and overflows with love.
I cannot mourn for myself,
for I was born with purpose.
I morn for you,
for the pain you must suffer,
in my behalf.
I feel mortal weekness, fear, and pain.
but it's you,
you, fill my every thought.
My hope in life,
to be a mother,
has been granted, and more,
for I gave birth to you,
and I've been blessed,
in knowing you.
My eyes fill with tears,
as I plead for life,
No mother could love more deeply--
My pleas grow stronger,
though I know this pain won't last.
Yet, I plead to raise you to maturity.
Life beyond will be more splendid.
We've talked of streets paved in gold,
and being together eternally,
but this life holds beauty, too,
for in this life
I gave birth to you.